An account

#184 - DILD - 10:08AM - 4 of 4 I am feeling ill today so lay back down for a nap. I am sitting in the living room on the couch watching TV next to my younger daughter. I hear her say "[something something], mother fucker". This gets my attention and I look at her startled. I say, "Dalynn! You do not get to say that word. You are just not old enough." She replies, "But mom said it. She said she was going to get lucid like a mother fucker." My eyes get big and I am surprised she said it again. I look over at my wife and see is blankly starting at the TV oblivious to the conversation. Then I get it. Several things hit me at once. First, my daughter is really 6 but she looks 13. Second, my wife would have come unglued if my daughter had really said that. Third, the furniture was all wrong. Fourth, my daughter said her mom wanted to get lucid. I say out loud, "I think I might be dreaming." I nose plug out of habit and blow through but it feels a little restricted. Hmm. I am not sure now. I do it again several time until I am satisfied that I am dreaming. "Hey! I am dreaming." Then I make a classic mistake of thinking way too much about my physical body lying in bed. I find myself in hard SP. I open my eyes and can see I am on my left side. My face is slightly buried into the blanket and all I can see is the gold and burgundy pattern of the comforter. I try to roll over but I am completely paralyzed. I feel really hot and think I am sweating profusely. I just want to uncover and get air but I cannot. I feel claustrophobic and restricted. OK I can accept this. I close my eyes and relax and transition out of bed. I feel like I am walking with my eyes closed so I instinctively open them. I really just open my physical eyes. I see the blanket again and feel surprised that I had not budged a muscle. I feel so hot. I close my eyes and try to move the blankets of me. I feel like I really did it for a second but when I open my eyes again I see nothing changed. I decide to just ignore the hot feeling again and try to dream. As soon as I relax I wake up and realize I am not the least bit hot or sweaty.