Place withheld · 2012-12-18 · from the DREAMVIEWS archive
Buzzing
I am at my boyfriend's mother's house watching the dog for her while she is away. I fall asleep on the couch. There is a a faint buzzing that grows louder when I tilt my head back. I recognize the noise and the heaviness in my limbs for sleep paralysis. I wonder what it would be like if I could not control it and remember how frightening it used to be. I entertain the thought that I can convince myself I really cannot move and that it will lock me in the dream. Out of the corner of my eye I see a large spider on the top of the couch. It is red and blends in with the throw on the back cushions. I jar myself awake, then allow myself to drift off. Then I fight it and twitch my hand. I snap briefly into awareness and then fall asleep again. The buzzing gets louder. I get stuck, thinking I have fallen asleep with one eye open, and that is a doorway into letting my spirit walk from my body, I try to grasp the feeling. It feels pointed. Precise. Small. Like knowing that if I can still see the world, I will dream into it instead of into my head. I lose track of the thought and I close my eyes, now they are both open and I am dreaming. I realize it is a dream when I see that my boyfriend's mother is home and making dinner in the living room, there are three ovens in there and she confuses me by putting plates of sandwiches in each one. I hear the dog's claws clicking on the floor as he gets up and leaves the room. My limbs still feel heavy. More buzzing. I think I can hear music but when I try to focus on it the sound loses distinction.
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