Knocking

I am totally new here. I suffer from a chronic pervasive sleep disorder. Too long of a story for here and now and this place. In any case , yesterday, I finally screamed in my bathroom at the sink. "Why is this house drowning me in negative energy no matter how much I try". i should have known better than to speak it. that night, i dreamed 3 men outside with guns. They are threatening harm, rape, and death. I feel helpless. It was so real I was not aware I was dreaming because typically My dreams become lucid as soon as I have passive triggers mostly unrealistic dream events pretty much 3-4 times a week i become conscience. I often then become a passive participant and even kick a** in any way I Please or just enjoy making things up as I go along. i even like to just stay assive and let the dream unfold while I am completely aware I am dreaming. By no means would these intruders on my property in this dream had any power had I become lucid. I would have been a bad B with a samurai sword (in my dream of course) chopping these guys up flying all over the place. But no, I am calling 911 with a woman who seems totally unconcerned and I am begging away for help. She says help is on the way. Some time passes, banging on my door, more screaming outside. I am frantically trying to figure out how to protect myself and my child while I wait for help. I dial 911 again pleading. The lady could care less and says she forgot to dispatch help. I wake somewhere in to be greatful I was dreaming. I fall back to sleep and have this amazing lucid dream I did not want to wake from where I spent the day with some lover I have never met. He loved me to my soul and I had no anxiety or stress just companionship. I can interpret the 2nd dream easy cake but the first one I still have trouble channeling and changing circumstances when my dreams are too realistic and negative. I am trying techniques. Even in sleep paralysis. I cannot control the circumstances. I left once when I knew it was safe but I was hoping to meet someone and it was just sunny and the streets were empty. I thought awww boring...just decided to go back to my room and lay on top of my sleeping body. Sounds strange to someone who has not experienced it but but I have done it many times since I Have been doing this for 20 years since i was 10. I am just scared to leave the room.