An account

Sunday 10/13/13 Last night bed 11pm - 8:45am I frequently have dreams from very shitty years in my life. They do not really upset me because of the content, but they upset me, because they are taking up my valuable dream time, and I would rather forget. But these make me remember and I alwyas feel like crap after being reminded of that. I had another one of those last night. I was not going to right it down. Until I realized, it was somehow different. In all dreams, I always just took what was being dished out to me. But in this one, I turned the table on them and I think I prevailed. So I am going to write it down, since it seems like a breakthrough dream. DR - I am told I did a crappy job. In front of a large crowd of people gathered for a party. I know I am being unjustly accused. So I stand up and say to everybody sitting at the table - "If anybody wants a hard working person, I am available". And everybody laughed with me, on account of the stupid person accusing me of not doing good job. I felt like I could leave at my leasure, and I do not have to take shit anymore. NAP 3pm - 5pm I layed down on my sofa with intent to wild or else. I knew I am having something. Started by some breathing from head to toes. I was not even done yet, and I was getting flashes of dreams. Next 2 hrs were a mix of HH, dreams with high awareness but not lucid, transitions, and LDs. Every time I woke up, I did not really wake up. I stayed in the "between" stage. I really have no idea what was what. 1. All I know, that I had a massage on a table, while I was holding my cat. I was on my stomach in little bit of warm water, to make me comfy. I thought cat will freak out, since he hates water. But he also loves warmth and he fell asleep so peacefully. I thought how funny it would be, if I had a LD while getting a massage. At that moment I feel like I am sitting up, laying down, sitting up... But I hope it is just my dream body and the masseuse will not notice. 2. I am getting out the window into the night. <PERSON> is only on the edges and has a yellow stripe. I am high up in the air, over 30 stories high. I am looking at the highrise buildings in a large town. I figure I fly to the police building. Windows are dark, after office hours, but I want to do it anyways. I get there but cannot stop the flight at their offices. 3. I am sleeping, my mom is also in the room. I was telling her previously about my ability to see with closed eyes. Now I am already asleep and I am talking to her, that I can see what is on tv, and I even read her from the screen. But I also know, that tv is off. 4. I am outside again. Daytime, sunny. I am deciding where to go. I look up and I decide to follow some commercial airliners. But I cannot fly. I hug a missile and imagine it is engines on. Still nothing. 5. Something sexual. I was done in 5 sec or less. At least once, I was thinking, which sensation to envoke, to get into LD, but then I realized I can just stand up and so I did.