An open record of things people cannot explain

Place withheld · 2011-02-19 · from the DREAMVIEWS archive

An account

I am asked out by someone who is exactly my type and I am ecstatic about it. He kisses me and says he cannot wait. When the day arrives, he shows up at the dinner place with his girlfriend, who has surprised him by dropping into town. They keep smiling dreamily at each other and cannot seem to unwind their arms off each other. I know his locker is next to mine, so I will either have to suck it up and be just friends with him and wait out the relationship, if it ends, or I will have to give in to my feelings of jealousy and anger. The latter prove too powerful and I walk away from the situation, venting to my friend <PERSON> from high school. I notice a lot of people staring at me, particularly men with headsets (workers on a film crew) - it is the film production department of a university. I have suddenly become the shrill, unreasonable woman who yells, to anyone within earshot, "I really thought he liked me. He kissed me and everything. And then he shows up with his girlfriend??" So <PERSON> is continuing to try to be sympathetic, but I am looking like comic relief and I know it. We go into a classroom where a well-dressed woman is sitting at a piano. I walk up and ask if I can practice singing a jazz number I know. I feel I need to do this just to feel better. She just stares, so in order to reassure her I pull the sheet music from my bag. It is at this point that she tosses me one of those icy uppercrust smiles and says, "I am sorry. Our soloist is performing and I do have to get ready." (She would just been sitting at the piano before I would tried to do anything.) I say to <PERSON>, who is seated, and for all in the room to hear, "Now, you see how that just took me down a few notches socially?" <PERSON> and the others pretend I am crazy. I reassure <PERSON>, "Do not worry. This is a dream, so these people are not actually real." <PERSON> sinks further into her chair. "I will prove it," I continue. "Watch this." Then I address the room: "Freeze!" Everyone freezes in their spot, including <PERSON>. I bend forward and address <PERSON>, "Unfreeze." She does. But others are slowly starting to unfreeze as I speak. I continue, "When the pianist refused to play my piece, especially since she did it in front of the entire room, do not you see how I was left standing foolishly and holding the bag? No one wants to acknowledge it and I do not know why, but that is the way it is. She does it because she can." I have to go back to my locker at that point and there is a produce aisle right near it. Dream date and his girlfriend are there, ogling. I see a note scrawled in the dust by Dream Date: "Sorry, did not mean to hurt you. " It only makes me angrier because I know that means he knows I liked him and this means he will never be interested in me in any case. Anyway, the last scene I remember in the dream is of me walking quickly with my head down, trying to stay ahead of the Dream Couple, bounding across stairways so I can just get to my locker before they do and get the heck out of there. Risperidone ran out three nights ago, so I guess the nightmares are back.

 

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This dream journal entry comes from the DreamViews research corpus (CC BY-NC 4.0), anonymised by its authors before release. We reproduce it with attribution and remove anything on request.