An account

I took a nap this evening and had a dream that was grotesquely gory (yet strangely beautiful [in a sense]). I was pretty much watching myself tear through my flesh with a gun (a MAC-10 I beleive? I Do Not Know, something automatic) and then eventually dying once I was nothing more than a mound of sopping flesh. Not nearly as pretty a sight as it sounds, I assure you. The dream then went on and kind of showed me a "what if" and gave me a rundown of various things I was missing out on now that I was dead. The dream ended with me and this girl that I am almost, kind of, sorta, not really but in a sense I am with in real life. I think. Yeah... I do not get it either. I get the feeling like I am "just a friend" but then there are times where it seems like it is more than that. As if she was not hard enough to read already, now there is this other guy that she kind of seems to have a thing for as well. Oh god, what if I am one of those pathetic saps that do not realize they are being strung along... Does this mean I have to start laughing at myself now? D: It is complicated and you probably do not even care so I am not going to go into it any further. Anyways, the dream replayed my first kiss which was with her a while back. Not the most pleasant dream I have had, rather disturbing actually, but I enjoyed it nonetheless because of the rush of relief that followed when I woke up.