An account

My last entry was a tad more than a month ago. After shifting training methods to work exclusively on the fundamentals, I feared the steady state progress I was currently viewing would slow down momentarily. What I did not expect was for it to plummet spectacularly. My dream recall took a brake for about a week, wake-back-to-beds were nerve-rackingly difficult to pull off, and for days I could barely get a full night's rest. But through it all I pushed on. I began building awareness day by day up to this very last week when I saw glimpses of it seeping into my dreams. Were in prior entries I would innocently follow along the story, the last few nights brought questions against the logic behind each dream. Today, I am proud to see things getting back on track, with a new lucid dream. I want to point out I did attain one more lucid dream during my time away from this journal, I simply chose not to share it. I was debating if I should keep this new one to myself as well. The fact is, my dreams have not gotten any more noteworthy than the rest. I think they have never been as special as other entries I have read around here. There are forty lucid dreams to my name and I have not been able to go beyond a couple of steps inside, beyond a few seconds at most. I have never talked to anyone in a dream, never known what it feels to fly in a dream, no chance to see or explore, there is nothing. It is frankly demoralizing, more so when I read other people's journey, far more exciting than anything I could hope for, many of them within their first five or ten lucid dreams, some during their first. I want to share it however, perhaps because there is the possibility of another person like me, who struggles getting their foot through the door once lucid, so that they can see my progress and hopefully learn something of value through this journal. It is not much right now, and I am honestly expecting nothing changing towards the end of the year. I only hope the amount of practice ends up paying off in the long run. To the dream then: I was at home standing in front of a window, staring at an empty space. It was dark and most likely raining outside. The lights were off. I kept listening to water running down to the ground on my left. I thought I heard footsteps pacing about farther into the distance. But then, I heard them closer. The air was thicker now, and I sensed danger looming nearby. Expecting an assault or robbery, I immediately shut the window close and put the lock on. I wait. I am not sure the window was properly closed, so I swing it open and lock it for good only this time, it hits me that this is a dream. I am dreaming. I take my eyes off the handle and set on an empty dark space outside. The feeling of danger falls almost directly upon me. I think something will pop out from below that window and jump scare me. I try to calm down. A vibratory force makes its way up against my sides and onto my neck, enough for me to wake up.